Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
