you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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