WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found your dick twin last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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