u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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