i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
