her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
