She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
