Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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