I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize