Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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