I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
