so that wasnt chicken after all
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
