i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
