Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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