I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I puked a lego.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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