I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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