I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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