sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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