YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
