i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
