my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
