Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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