I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
