I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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