Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
