i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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