youre lurking in front of me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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