this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
