Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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