her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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