I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
