i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
