You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my liver is dry heaving
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
