I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
