i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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