if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
