your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
tell me about the eggs
Randomize