We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize