Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
