Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sorry about my life...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
