Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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