Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize