Non-Jews are for practice
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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