what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
