All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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