I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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