I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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