i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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