Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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