Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
