Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
