Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
