I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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