my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
