is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
