Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
