I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize