Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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