You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
