ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
