Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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