I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i dont even know how to be here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
